Can't believe I'm saying this but why the hell is it so fucking hard to have fun when I'm allowed to? It's like I'm paranoid or something, I'm always thinking that there's something I haven't complete when there actually isn't. Every time I wanna just lay back and clear my mind by napping, voices in my head reminding me that I can't be slumber, because I have something to pursue when I'm actually so darn free of any errands. Tahhhhh and screaming doesn't get tension off my back, not one bit. I should be letting out my inner soul.... screaming and jumping, stay up all night drawing, watch TV, downloading illegal songs or watching some weird + epic videos on YouTube to enjoy the freedom that i have right now, before I get busy with college stuff. I wanted to be free so much when Pn Ung is holding me back in high school and at home when my mom refuses to let me go out. Now nothing is stopping me from partying, dating, hibernating or day dreaming but... did I really lost my high school spirit? when I just got to be 18??

I need my life back.. fast.